do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
