if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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