Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
