I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
