those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I need moral support for this bender
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
don't judge my taste in strippers
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
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