What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
i want to swaddle you in tequila
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Holy sore nipples Batman
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
