I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
