Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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