please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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