Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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