so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
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