dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
