I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
