Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
