He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
