you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
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