I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
