I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
you never un-have a 4some
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
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