Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize