ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
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