You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Randomize
