Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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