The brown eye won't let me do that either.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
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dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
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Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Randomize