so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
