i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
