Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Randomize
