Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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