What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
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