also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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