if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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