so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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