the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
