I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
