I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize