What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
