Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
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