Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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