There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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