dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
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