i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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