I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
It's blow job season.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Just high enough for therapy.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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