You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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