An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
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I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
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I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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