I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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