If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
And then he peed in my hair
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