walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
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