he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize
