I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
