It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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