So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
