I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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