some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
The best revenge is premature balding
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
