what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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