So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
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