i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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