I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
