I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Will exercising make me less horny?
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