He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
i need an iv and a liver transplant
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
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