I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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