Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize