turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
