I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
