You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
