im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
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