Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize